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Positivitea Cup Nineteen: Doing Things For Yourself, By Yourself

By nature, I'd consider myself an introvert. Not socially inept, not anti-social. Just a little shy, a little drained by social interaction. I tend to lean towards keeping to myself, but I don't close myself off from the world. My favorite way to see introversion versus extroversion is that introverts, while still enjoying social interaction, get drained from those around them over time whereas extroverts feed off of the energy from others. Introverts may require a "recharging" period while extroverts can solider on through it without many issues.

My introversion combined with my other social tendencies makes it difficult to be open with others and to, in simple terms, "get myself out there." I've never had massive groups of friends, I've never been incredible at keeping friends, and I still struggle with constant communication (which you'll know if you've ever tried to keep in touch with me). Certainly, being this way isn't my favorite way to live my life, but I'm twenty going on twenty-one years into it and I think it's time to accept that this is just the way I am. And that's not the worst thing in the world.

Call me #MissIndependent, call me #MrLonely (shoutout to Akon, my middle school jam), whatever you please (Francesca is fine too). I'm not lonely lonely, but there's part of me that feels like a loner sometimes. Again, not the worst thing in the world. In fact, as much as I struggled with this as a teenager, I think it made me grow a lot as a young adult. I had to learn how to do a lot of things by myself and I think I still have a ways to go.

Sometimes, you have to learn how to do things for yourself, by yourself. You have to learn how to go get a coffee by yourself, sit in a Starbucks for four hours with your headphones in and block out the conversations around you. You might have to venture through the mall by yourself, you might even have to sit down and have a nice meal by yourself. It's silly to deprive yourself of these necessary moments because you don't have someone to share them with. Most things can be done alone, it's just frowned upon for some reason. Sure, you can't ride a tandem bike alone, but you can go on solo bike rides (though, that's up for debate based off of some safety concerns...).

I digress...there's always this underlying goal to have the most friends, the best friends, the "squad" of your dreams, when in reality, it's truly important to know that you have yourself. It might not seem like the most fulfilling thing on the outside, but when you get to the point where you know you can rely on yourself, everything becomes easier. Relationships flow smoother, interacting with others becomes less of a chore, all is well. It might take years for this to happen or it might take the matter of a few weeks. We're all on different paths, walking at different speeds, and that's okay.


  1. I love your post Francesca. I used to feel like doing things alone mean I had to feel lonely but honestly I love it now. Do you mind if I share your post on my blog's FB page? (


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