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Why I Am Extremely Defensive About My Favorite Bands And Don’t Want To Share Them With Anybody (Not Even You, Mom)

A while back, a friend texted me out of the blue and asked if I was protective over the music and bands that I liked. At first, I assumed she meant defensive in the sense that if somebody poked fun at a band I liked, I would argue back and take the side of said band. She then clarified and said that she was referring to when you talk about a band with someone and all of a sudden, they adore them as well. We both agreed that it really bothered us sometimes, and we have no clue why.

I'd like to think of myself as someone with good music taste (don't we all?). Finding new music is a hobby for me, something that brings me great joy. I had, and still have to some degree, this obsessive tendency that when I found a new artist, I had to listen to everything they ever released. I'd listen to their EPs, full-length albums, live performances, interviews, the whole lot. I wanted to know everything about them, partially because I was legitimately interested, and partially because I wanted everybody to know how knowledgeable I was about so many different artists. I thought that knowing all this extensive information about all of these diverse artists was going to make people think I was interesting. In retrospect, I probably sounded like a snob.

The problem was, I couldn't help myself! I was unstoppable. I'd peruse playlists searching endlessly for new music. I would Google the opening acts at concerts I had seen the second I got home, or even on the drive back after the concert. I bought CDs that I listened to once. I became obsessed with being a human iTunes library, needing to absorb more and more music. It got a little out of hand at some points, but it made me happy. Music has always made me happy.

In addition to thinking that I have good taste in music, I like to think that I have a knack for finding bands right before they make it big. I don't know if it's just good luck, or if I purposely seek out incredibly talented musicians just so I can say that "I liked them before they were famous/on the radio/screwing that person". Whatever it may be, it has happened a few times and every single time, without a fail, I need to make it known to everyone within a fifty-foot radius of me that I liked them before anyone else. It irritates me to no end when other people do it, and yet I make excuses for myself.

I still do crazy things like this! I make sure that if I start liking a band, I tweet their lyrics constantly, or at least tweet about them. It's like I need to call dibs on them just incase someone else starts liking them. I need to be the superior fan all of the time. How annoying is that?

It's not that I don't want these artists that I adore to have no new fans. If people want to like them, then that's fine. I just need for them to know that I was here first. It's so childish and petty, but having friends obsess over someone that I introduced them to physically affects me. I get angry and sulk. I get defensive and start bragging a bit. It's not something that I'm proud of, but it is also something that I don't see myself getting over. I'm stubborn and will perpetually be stuck in the state of mind that I am a trailblazer.


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