Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Confession: I'm Super Type A


Type A, noun: a personality type characterized by ambition, high energy, and competitiveness, and thought to be susceptible to stress and heart disease.

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I didn't know that Type A and Type B personalities existed for the longest time. I saw Carly (The College Prepster) talking about herself being Type A in a blog post years ago and a series of balloon-like question marks floated above my head until I finally researched the topic and realized that–yikes–I fit into the same bubble. Is "yikes" the right word to use?

I don't think that me being Type A ruins everything. Of course, I notice it in my everyday actions. I see it in my work ethic, my stress levels, my occasional difficulty to fall asleep at night. But I also see it in my conscientiousness–making sure everyone is doing okay, sending personalized birthday messages on time, creating a welcoming environment for those around me–my need to achieve and make things happen.


It has its pros and cons. I don't like to procrastinate. Wasting time physically makes me a little bit nauseous (or maybe it was the dairy I accidentally consumed). When it comes to getting work done, this is great. I think this is why I never want my work to end, though. Plowing through my to-do list in record breaking time always feels like an accomplishment until I'm left without nothing else to do and have to face the idea of "free time." Free time? To relax? That is a foreign concept to me and something that I've yet to fully learn how to embrace and enjoy.

I don't like knowing that I can't do something or don't like something. I wanted to try everything when I was younger. I wanted to the learn the piano and the guitar, even if I didn't want to pursue any sort of music in my future. I wanted to play all of the sports and master as many activities as possible just to say that I could. I would have ever described it as wanting to be the best, but in my head, I turn everything into a competition, as petty as that might sound. It motivates me. It's never a negative competition. It's all one-sided and lingers in my head, popping up when I'm trying to decide what to do next.

I tend to worry a lot about everything. I worry about myself, my future, what will happen to me in such and such amount of time. I worry about my friends and their well-being. I worry about my family. I worry about the world at large. A lot of my headspace is taken up by my worries which piles on the stress. What will happen? What will I do when something happens? What will I do if something doesn't happen? It's like a mental spiral that sounds like white noise in my head, but I can't shake it. I'm a worrier through and through.

My life, at the moment, is centered around me–my career, my future, where I'm going to live. It's been this way for a while, really. I've been hyper-focused on getting myself to New York to work in the industry of my preference that I'm not willing to let anyone or anything in the way. Because of this, it's hard for me to let people in that might get in the way. I don't date. It's distracting. I don't want to give up my time to another person, which sounds selfish, sure, but I can't explain it much further than that. I just read that Type A people can often end up alone and merely shrugged. It doesn't bug me too much. Not as much as the lack of efficiency, wasting time, purposeful and intentional laziness.

I don't tick every single box on the ever-growing list of aspects of a Type A personality. There's not an entry test where you must check off ten of the requirements. But understanding that this type of personality existed and being able to relate to some of the aspects of being Type A helped me understand myself and why I do or say the things that I do.

Anyone else have a Type A Personality? Or are you more Type B?

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