Am I Doing It Right?

Tuesday, January 30, 2018


Am I doing it right? That's the age old question. I ask myself it on the daily about literally everything, a simple question rooted in insecurity. It doesn't matter what I'm doing, what "it" is, the question pops up in my brain and I'm stuck taking a minute to truly wonder if I'm screwing up whatever I'm doing or if I'm doing a good job. 

Arguably, this question has an answer in a lot of circumstances. I mean, take making a piece of toast. You put the bread in the toaster and as long as it doesn't come out literally on fire, you're doing okay. And then the question becomes increasingly more vague and ambiguous as you apply it to different things, namely when it comes to the ever so frustrating comparison game. 

We love the comparison game, don't we? When we see something or some we deem worthy enough to envious of and then hyper focus all of our attention on somehow becoming that person or achieving that thing and slowly let it eat away at us? It's super easy to do now with the internet and social media. I love both of those things very much, but I mean, it would be a lot more difficult to hate myself for not having Dua Lipa's abs if television and magazines were the only two places I would have to search for pictures and videos of her, ya know?

Am I living my life right if I don't look like Dua Lipa? I mean, duh, but that doesn't stop my brain from doing what it does best and falling down this rabbit hole. We all love a good rabbit hole to fall down, right?

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I joked the other day that this blazer made me seem like I had my life put together, even if that was the furthest thing from the truth. Self-deprecating comments are my brand of humor, always have been and always will be. But really, there's just something about a nice blazer that just looks serious, like you have all of the answers to everything.

For a while, I liked to pretend I had my life together. It was a total farce, of course, because I was in college at the time and any college student that tells you that they have their life together is a liar and probably drunk. Kidding. But alas, my hyper-organized facade powered by my Type A personality made it seem like my life was structured and that I knew exactly what I wanted when and where. In reality, I was probably chugging coffee and crying in the car because of the stress of the unknown. 

That's what's funny about outward appearance and who and what you choose to show people. For the most part, you can tailor someone's vision of you just based on how you choose to look and act around them. You can show off a portion of yourself on the interwebs because you have that control to do so. I don't blame anyone for doing it, I mean, we're all guilty of it, right? 

God, I feel like Miss Norbury, sorry folks! 


I'm at the stage in life where my post-grad life is causing this question to constantly float around my head. I'm sure the same question will no doubt pop up again when all of my friends start getting married and having kids (given I'm not doing the same, but really, that's not looking too hot for me right now). 

It's easy to see what everyone is up to in their personal and work life now. And I'm not here to blame anyone for talking about your job or life because it's your life and you can choose to share what you want. I'm insanely nosy, this is fantastic for that side of me. Share everything you want! Be proud of yourself!

But the more exposed you get to the way other people your age are living their life, the more the question starts to circle: Am I doing it right? Because if I was doing it right, wouldn't I be where they are?

And the truth is, there is no right. There is no one version of being right or doing the right thing. We all have our different "right" and the comparison game really makes you forget that for a second or two or six months.


I mean, I brushed on this in a post about what they don't tell you about post-grad life, but I think it's an important point to make. It's not an easy pill to swallow. If you ask me, hating myself and having career, closet, beauty collection, etc. envy is still somehow easier than facing the reality that everyone has different paths. It doesn't do me any good, none at all in fact. 

Nobody is doing something "more right." Just because I'm not in a certain place in my life doesn't mean that someone else is doing life more right than I am. It just confirms that fact that we are two different people, which like, duh

So if you feel like you're not doing something right, just assume that as long as it's not on fire, you're doing okay. Unless you're trying to build a fire. I suppose that would prove that theory wrong.


Sweater: Target
Blazer: IDK, I took it from my mom's closet
Jeans: Levi's
Boots: Stuart Weitzman
Sunglasses: Miu Miu

3 comments

  1. I'm so glad that I'm not the only person who does this! I get so crippled by the anxiety of "Am I doing this right?" that I can barely concentrate on the task at hand - ESPECIALLY if someone is around!

    xo
    Kara
    www.thebostonista.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's a hard knock life constantly being worried about whether or not you're doing the right thing in any aspect of life. SIGHHHHH. Not fun at all!

      Delete
  2. Fran you're brilliant and amazing at everything you do. Everything happens for a reason...just like why you own 87 lipsticks and one day we'll finally meet and cry so much that I'll have to go buy some mascara from Sephora

    ReplyDelete

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