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The Beauty Things We Don't Talk About (But Should)


There is a duality to my being that I can't put my finger on sometimes. I have days where I am more soft-spoken and try to stray away from using any language that's too jarring aside from letting f-bombs slip past my lips more often than I'd like to admit, but there are others when I will say just about anything unfiltered and not bat an eyelash. 

Today is one of the latter days.

I feel like, in this world, there are a lot of intense beauty standards as well as just general taboo topics that maybe we stray away from unless we're talking to like, I don't know, our pals or something. Good news is, you're all my friends. Except like, dad you probably don't want to read this. We're still friends though, just not this type of friend.

Facial Hair Removal

I'm Italian, guys. Despite the blonde hair on my head (which is partially due to bleach and partially due to my Polish mother), let's just remember how dark my eyebrows. That's what the rest of the hair on my body looks like aside from my eyelashes. So cruel. I'm talking everywhere. Arms, legs, bikini line, toes, it's dark and coarse and just a pain in the ass to remove. But let's not forget what I used to dread as a kid and be so embarrassed about: upper lip hair, chin hairs, and whatever random spots they can pop up on my face. 

This could be caused by Hirsutism, which is basically a condition that causes women to grow hair in a similar pattern as men and likely arises from excess male hormones, namely testosterone. This can also cause acne (hence why I take Aldactone). If you want to read more about it, this Mayo Clinic article will break it down better than I ever could. 

I nearly got laser hair removal to get rid of everything above my neck that I didn't want there (aka my eyebrows and eyebrows only) but never went through with it, even after years of whining and crying for having no good ways to remove the hair that made me self-conscious every day of my life.

What did I use to use? I used at home bleach kits, drugstore wax kits that made my skin ache, straight up razors to shave it off, Nair, you name it.

What do I use now? I've gotten more chill about this. While I think I would still like to do laser hair removal (partially for vanity purposes, partially because I genuinely don't want it on my face or to spend time during my mornings to get rid of it manually), I'm taking it day by day. I tend to just tweeze when I can, but as this can be time-consuming, if I need it done fast, I really like the Flawless by Finishing Touch Instant and Painless Facial Hair Remover. Your hair will certainly grow back, but this is simple and painless (the name is true) way to remove facial hair quickly.

What Should I Do About Down There

Let's talk about vaginas. For real, it's fine. People have them. They're great. But a lot of TLC can come into play when it comes to our private bits and it's difficult to tell what's needed. 

In all fairness, none of this is really necessary, as we all have our own preferences. Even so, I had to learn certain things through Cosmo.com articles so let's just chat about a few things and debunk some myths.

First thing, your vagina doesn't need to smell like rainbows and flowers and sunshine. Not only is that just, not necessary, it's also not natural and can irritate everything down there and throw off your balance. Vaginas are self-cleaning, which is incredible in itself. If you are having odor issues, this might just be something involving bacteria and you should likely address this with your physician or gyno. You can also wear thin, fully cotton underwear and looser bottoms if you're having any issues as well.

Second thing, you don't have to shave. Nobody has to do anything when it comes to their bodies, but there's a massive stigma with pubic hair and I...don't get it. We aren't Barbie dolls, we're not smooth and slick and entirely hairless. Not everybody has the opportunity to get laser treatments and waxes regularly and nobody needs to do it unless they want to. It's all personal, y'all. Do you like to be smoothly shaven? Fantastic, make sure you're regulalry replacing your razor blades and are using shaving gel to avoid ingrow hairs! Like to leave it natural? Fantastic, you do you, boo!

What I used to use: Regular run of the mill razors and standard shaving gel

What do I use now? Sensitive shave gel, Venus five-blade razors, Fur Stuble Cream, Fur Ingrown Hair Concentrate, and Fur Silk Scrub.


True Life: I Can't Wear Tampons

Can't, won't, hate, all of the above. I always felt really embarrassed by the fact that I opt for pads over tampons whilst on my period. I had that book that we all had, The Care of Keeping You, or whatever it was called, put out by American Girl to teach us all about puberty and what was going to happen our bodies as we grow up. This included some odd sketches of how to insert a tampon. It's not that I skipped those pages, I just like, never used one. I also went to Catholic school so I didn't even know what a period was so by the time it came, I thought I had a UTI because our cat kept getting them which would cause her to bleed. Needless to say, my mother was VERY confused when I announced that I had what "Maxi had."

Regardless, I just always opted for pads. There was truly no rhyme or reason to it to begin with. I think it was just presumed that they were more comfortable for me to wear as like, a very non-sexually active almost thirteen-year-old. But then I grew up and tampons were just...uncomfortable. I hated wearing them, I hated trying to put them in, I just hated the entire process. At first, I just felt like I was some kind of dweeb who couldn't handle it, and then I was watching some videos on Melanie Murphy's YouTube channel about periods, but more specifically, the tampon versus pad debates.

There are things that can cause discomfort when it comes to inserting and wearing tampons, including situational (as well as primary, secondary, and global) vaginismus. Now, you know my Catholic school wasn't teaching any of this shit as they were too busy shoving abstinence-only down our throats (and to that I say LMAO), so I went through life being embarrassed that I wore pads because the process of putting in a tampon was, quite frankly, incredibly uncomfortable and occasionally excruciating because of this situational vaginismus. Man, what an experience it is to find out an explanation for something that's bothered you for years and years.

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