Friendship Never Ends...Sometimes

Wednesday, November 2, 2016


As much as I love and adore the 1996 classic "Wannabe" by the ever-so-iconic Spice Girls, there's certainly some lack of truth when it comes to friendships. As glorious as an ever-lasting infinite friendship is, it's not realistic for every situation. Some friendships just aren't made to last forever. While there's certainly nothing wrong with being best friends with someone for years upon years, but I think that the romanization of being "BFFs" keeps people trapped in friendships that might not be healthy or good for them. There are plenty of reasons why friendships might not work out. Sometimes it's distance, sometimes it's just the natural trend of growing apart. But there are times where friendships are just downright not good for you.


It's hard to recognize a toxic friendship when you're in one. Something might seem off, but we make excuses for the person because we cherish the friendship we have with them. We don't see what other people see, as if we have blinders on. Whether it's pure obliviousness or just a series of us turning our head the other way, I'm not sure, but it always seems to lead to one party unknowingly continuing a friendship that is just not good for them.

Toxic friendships come in all shapes and sizes. They can be manipulative. They can make you feel like you're the most important person in the world, while also making you feel like you mean nothing to them, all in the same breath. They can isolate you from other friends or friendly prospects, guiding you away because why make more friends when you have that one friend? They're different for everyone. Sometimes they come out of the blue. Other times, they're toxic right from the start but you just don't realize it.

Spotting a negative pattern might not seem possible. Honestly, it's hard. Nobody wants to believe that someone that they consider an extremely close friend would hurt them, but it happens. Sometimes it happens with an explanation, other times you're stuck without any closure whatsoever. That might be the worst part, not knowing why. There's a period of the blame game where everything suddenly becomes your fault in your mind. I could've done this, I could've done that. Oh, maybe I did this to make them made. Maybe it was me all along. These kind of relationships cause so much inner turmoil that it sort of drives you temporarily mad. It becomes this kind mad frenzy for answers that you might not ever get.

If a friendship isn't benefitting both parties and you aren't bettering each other, there's an issue there. If there's an unfair balance in the relationship, something is bound to give. You can fight it all you want, but sometimes friendships aren't destined to work out. They can damn well break your heart, too. It's an unfortunate part of life, but it happens all the time and it doesn't get any easier. The feeling passes, sure, but there's still a period of self-doubt, a period where you want to crawl back to them. Even years later, there's brief moments where you wonder how they are, what they're doing, what it would be like if you were still friends with them. You can't really control them, either. They catch you at the worst of moments and leave you with a dull ache until you bury them beneath your daily thoughts.

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